Still no news on Nina. I’m waiting with as much patience as I can, but it’s hard to feel like I’m doing anything productive when I’m not looking for her. I wish I could do something outside the AAC, but I can’t leave until I hear something.
Mia had spent the last few days mindlessly going through the tasks she usually did when back home, but she was restless and impatient. She found little distraction in her friends. Ann was now planning a trip back to Canada heading there to help a few more people over the border. She was already in contact with a few she was sponsoring. She and Paul were planning on leaving soon, she had told Mia she only had one more person they were waiting on.
Saoirse and Nat had spent their time together, when they weren’t out exploring, they were usually in their room. They had offered her to join them, but she felt like she was intruding and so she declined. Instead, she stuck to her usual scouting routes and spent the evenings painting.
Her day started as they usually did now, she lay in bed with the hope that she would have a message from Greg but not wanting to check because the pain of nothing struck her to her core. She finally decided to roll out of bed and picked the phone up from her bed, her heart skipped a beat, she did have a message, it was to both her and Nat, from Greg:
Some news on Nina, come to EMS sometime before lunch.
Nat had already responded:
be there at 10
Mia typed a quick response:
Same
She didn’t know how she felt about ‘some news,’ it wasn’t ‘good news,’ just some. She got ready and prepared herself for whatever Greg would have to say. She arrived at EMS just before 10 and found that Nat was already there, she looked like how Mia felt, nervous. Together, they entered Greg’s office, he greeted them and began immediately,
“Nina isn’t in the SSNY,” he said evenly.
Nat shifted in her seat uneasily, “Do you know where then?” she asked.
“Sadly, no. I know the Color Guard contacted her after she moved out of your home. They gave her a note and access to the shadow where I believe she found out about the trips to the mass grave. You two swear she was there, and you might be right, two other men were found dead outside the town, they were known to be bringing people over the border.”
“Two others?” Mia asked in surprise, “How did we miss two others?”
“From what I can tell, you had a lot going on, it doesn’t surprise me you missed them,” Greg said, “So, if Nina was with them and since no other bodies were found, she might be out there somewhere.”
“So how do we get back down there, we’ll start looking,” Nat said.
“Some of the younger Color Guard members aren’t too keen on seeing you two back in the unclaimed regions, so I think its best you stay here, but —”
“We have to Greg; how can you make us stay here!?” Mia asked incredulously.
“I can’t, you can head out now if you like, just let me finish before you head there without any thought,” Greg said calmly.
Mia and Nat stayed quiet.
“I got in contact with Maggie, the woman who Nat was staying with, she’s following the YIA agent who killed her husband, and Chloe. She was planning to kill him and has been tailing him looking for an opening, if he’s looking for Nina, she’ll know, then she’ll let us know.”
“So more sitting and waiting then?” Mia asked, dejected.
“For now, I know I can’t force you girls to sit here forever, if we don’t hear anything in the next couple days, you can go, for now, stay, I know it’s hard, I’ve been doing it for nearly twenty years…”
“Okay, we’ll wait, but I can’t do that for very much longer Greg,” Mia said.
Nat nodded in agreement.
The pair walked out of Greg’s office and Nat turned to Mia, “I really do appreciate how much you care about finding my sister Mia, it means a lot.”
“I really want to see her again Nat, I really do…” Mia said softly.
“I know you do, so do I,” Nat bit her lip, she could see the pain in her face, they stood in silence for a minute.
“Well, see you…” Nat whispered.
“Yeah…” Mia said halfheartedly.
Mia watched Nat exit the building while rooted in the same spot for some time before leaving also.
* * *
Mia sat at the top of the ski jump, watching another sunset wishing she could share it with Nina. The sounds of summer crickets started to fill the air as the sun fell behind the mountains. She heard the door on the roof open and someone step out and she went to turn before she identified the voice.
“Up here again tonight?” Rick asked lightheartedly.
“Yeah,” Mia responded, with little enthusiasm.
Rick sat down next to her with a heavy sigh, “Pretty sunset tonight,” he said, “Good enough for a painting?”
“Yeah, maybe…”
“Hey, are you doing okay kid?”
“I don’t know Rick, these last few weeks, they’ve just been… a lot.”
“Anything you wanna talk about?”
“I’ve…” Mia hesitated, “I’ve been worried about this girl, it’s like I can’t stop thinking about her, and the worst part, I don’t think she even would know.”
“What do you mean, she wouldn’t know.”
“Well, I met her a couple times when I was in the SSNY, and I really just got this feeling she was struggling, that she really needed someone to be there for her… and I, I realized recently, I want to be that person. I see how much it helps people. You know that girl from the TLF came from the other side of the continent to help one person…”
“Mia, you have to be careful though, that’s a lot to be, and, I hate to say it, but you can’t press that on this girl.”
“I know, I know, that’s why I never tried before, it’s crazy to think that I can just save someone… or that helping someone can save me…”
“Just be careful Mia, I know how intoxicating it can be to indulge in fantasy, but sometimes you have to acknowledge that it’s just that, fantasy, things are rarely simple and the path we see is rarely the path we take.”
“I’ll try my best to remember that Rick, thanks.”
He stood up, “Well, want me to walk you down?”
“Sure.”
They made their way back to Mia’s Jeep and Mia waved him off to head back down towards town. She thought about what she had said to Rick, she realized she had become so obsessed with someone who she had no idea if they ever thought of her. All along she had this sinking feeling that Nina felt completely alone, she wished she had been more upfront before she had to worry about finding her. She wished that Nina knew how much she hoped to find her, she probably didn’t even know her sister was alive.
All these thoughts and she realized, she didn’t even know what she would say to her if she ever saw her again, was she even like this imaginary person she had begun to concoct in her head? The anxiety swirled through her mind weaving different situations, good, bad, but mostly bad, until Mia realized she would just have to wait until the time came and accept the hand she was dealt.